Being a referee is hard.

 

I know, I keep saying that. Why? Because it keeps being true. The ball moves fast, the kids move faster, and the sideline “commentary” is almost always louder than it needs to be. And best of all, there’s the part in every game where two kids bump into each other, one or both of them goes down, and some helpful spectator yells “FOUL!”

 

But here’s the thing: soccer is a contact sport. I mean, we’re not talking Rugby here, but it’s also not volleyball or golf either. That means not all contact in soccer is a foul. In fact, a lot of contact is (and should be) encouraged. So in today’s edition of “Ask the Ref”, we’re breaking down one of the most common misconceptions on the field:

 

Let’s talk about: FOULS vs. PHYSICAL PLAY

 

“BUT THEY SHOVED THEM!”

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Yep. Maybe. But did they shove them illegally? Did they actually foul them? Or was it just… you know,… soccer?

 

Understanding the difference is tricky. And the younger the game, the trickier it is. But if we’re going to yell from the sidelines (politely, of course 😉), we might as well know what we’re yelling about.

 

WHAT COUNTS AS A FOUL?

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According to Law 12 (Fouls and Misconduct), a foul is committed when a player does something careless, reckless, or with excessive force, such as:

• Kicking or attempting to kick an opponent

• Tripping or attempting to trip

• Charging, jumping at, pushing, or striking

• Holding or impeding with contact

• Handling the ball deliberately

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And, the key words here are: careless, reckless, or excessive.

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If it’s none of those things, it’s probably just physical play.

 

WHAT COUNTS AS LEGAL PHYSICAL PLAY?

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Let’s be real: although soccer is called “the beautiful game”, it is not a delicately choreographed dance like ballet. It’s a physical competition. Bodily contact is part of the game. So, what is “legal” physical play?  It’s things like:

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• Shoulder-to-shoulder or body-to-body challenges, when players are going for the ball

• Incidental contact while running side by side

• Winning the ball with proper timing, even if the opponent goes down afterward

• Shielding the ball with your body including your arms

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If players are competing fairly for the ball, using their bodies to gain position, and not being careless or dangerous, it’s not a foul.

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Even if someone falls.

Even if someone cries.

Even if Grandma disagrees.

 

So, when does “acceptable” become “too much?”

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WHEN DOES SHOULDER-TO-SHOULDER GO TOO FAR?

 

A legal shoulder challenge becomes a foul when:

• The player leads with excessive force (like launching or dropping their weight into the opponent)

• The contact is from behind, at an angle, or not directly shoulder-to-shoulder

• The ball is not within playing distance (you can’t shoulder someone just because)

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PRO TIP: If the challenge looks like two players jostling for a loose ball = fine. If it looks like a linebacker hit in a football game or the

Incredible Hulk crashing through a wall = probably a foul. *

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HANDS, ARMS & SHIELDING – WHAT’S OKAY?

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Yes, soccer is called “Football” in most of the world for a reason. Most of the action is with the feet. But players can use their hands and arms, too… at least for some things.

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Players can use their hands / arms to:

 

• Feel where the other player is

• Balance themselves

• Protect their space

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They can’t use arms to:

• Push, shove, or hold an opponent

• Extend elbows or forearms to gain advantage

• Hook or grab a jersey

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PRO TIP: The way I usually explain this one is: a player can use their body to keep their space, but not take someone else’s space. So, bent elbows close to the body = probably legal. Straight arms pushing out = probably not. *

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KICKING FOR THE BALL VS. TRIPPING

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Two players both kicking at the ball? That’s part of the game. But when:

• One player misses the ball and hits the leg

• Trips the opponent’s feet or catches their ankles

• Or swings wildly and makes dangerous contact…

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That’s a foul.

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PRO TIP: Did the foot get the ball first, cleanly, and without reckless motion? Probably legal. No ball and only legs? Foul every time.

 

CARELESS? RECKLESS? EXCESSIVE?

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Okay, so remember those three referee buzzwords – careless, reckless, excessive? Let’s go back to those for a minute. They’re really important. In fact, they’re kind of like the Richter Scale for fouls. So, let’s break them down:

• Careless = If the player didn’t show proper attention or consideration, it’s a simple foul, but probably not a card.

• Reckless = If the player acted with disregard for the danger to or consequences for their opponent, it’s a foul AND a Yellow Card (or, more formally, a “Caution.”)

• Excessive Force = If the player used more force than necessary and endangered the safety of an opponent (including retaliatory and violent conduct), that’s a Red Card (or, more fomally, an “Ejection.”) Bye-bye!

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* COMMON MISUNDERSTANDINGS:

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So, with all of that in mind, what are the most common misunderstanding when it comes to physical play versus fouls? Ah, these are fun!

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“But they pushed them!”

• If it was a shoulder-to-shoulder bump while both were going for the ball? Totally fine. Play on.

 

“But they fell down!”

• Falling doesn’t equal fouled. Sometimes gravity just wins.

 

“But it looked rough!”

• Sometimes it is. But if it was fair, legal, and didn’t break any of the laws? It’s just physical. And, to be honest, sometimes that totally fair and legal physicality can cause injuries.

 

“But the big kid knocked the little kid down!”

• Did he? Or did the little kid think he could get away with it because he’s smaller?I’ve seen some of the most aggressive play from the smallest players. (Once upon a time, I one of those smallest players.) They’ll shoulder charge a kid almost twice their size then end up as the one on the ground. That’s not a foul, that’s physics.

 

“But he extended his arms!”

• Maybe he did. But if two players are using arms legally, and one of them trips, the other’s arms may naturally extend outward because what they had been fairly pressing against suddenly isn’t there anymore. Again, not a foul.

 

And let’s not forget about “embellishment!”

• Seriously! I’ve seen U10s take a dive looking for a penalty. No, I’m not going to blow the whistle. I’m not going to give you a PK. I’m not going to give the other player a card. However, I might recommend acting lessons.

 

IN YOUTH GAMES, THERE’S MORE TO CONSIDER:

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As referees on youth games, we are trained (a lot!) to consider:

• Player safety above all

• Experience level and age - what’s okay in U14 might not fly in U8

• The learning environment - sometimes a foul is called not because it was egregious, but because it’s a teaching moment, to deescalate a match that’s maybe starting to spiral out of control, etc.

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So, yes, calls might be a little “softer” in younger age groups. Calls might get “tighter” as the game goes on. That’s intentional.

 

And why do we allow more as they get older? Just wait till they get to High School! Best to get used to some of that now.

 

THE FOUL VS. PHYSICAL PLAY CHECKLIST:

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Okay. So, let’s make this really simple:

✅ Were they both playing the ball fairly?
✅ Was the contact shoulder-to-shoulder, body-to-body, or incidental?
✅ Was it NOT careless, reckless, or excessive?
✅ Did the player keep their arms down and their studs on the ground?

 

If YES: Probably just physical play.
If NO: Now we’re talking foul territory.

 

FINAL THOUGHT

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Soccer is physical. It’s supposed to be. Not every bump, trip, or tumble is a foul - and that’s okay. We want our kids to be tough, competitive, and fair. Referees are there to step in when things cross the line. But the line isn’t every bit of contact. The line is when play becomes careless, reckless, or dangerous.

 

So next time your kid gets bumped and doesn’t get a call, ask yourself: Was it dirty? Or was it just… soccer?

 

Trust your ref. They’ve seen a lot of soccer. They go through a lot of training every single year. And give them a break. They’ve got somewhere between 14 and 22 bodies to track -and half of those just learned how to tie their cleats.

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Let’s let the game play on.